Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
