Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
