forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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