did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
