How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
