Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
