I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
