I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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