you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
