and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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