I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
