...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
