i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
