We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
