Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
