Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
