I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
