doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
