i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
