We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize