you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
