did you get engaged???
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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