But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
