Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
