Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
