your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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