My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
