covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
