I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
