I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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