Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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