Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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