My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
