I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
