hotel room ftw
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
