You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
