Non-Jews are for practice
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
