I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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