I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
