At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
