Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
