Sponge bath it is.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
