So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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