i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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