I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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