my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
