There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
