Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
