How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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