He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
