Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
