Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
