i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
