I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
