i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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