Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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