Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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