You're completely useless in the revolution.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This is classic penis vs brain.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
