so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
