He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
