Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
