'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
