One girl and one boy is just not enough.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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