I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
