apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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