Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize