Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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