is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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