I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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