i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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