Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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