sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
