he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
