It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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