just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
