oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
