so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
