I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
