Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
