Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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