Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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