I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize